We are deep into day six of what we are just referring to as "sleep training." It's hard. Forgive me for my lack of description but I am exhausted and a little on edge.
First, let me preface all of this by letting you know that we co-sleep. Winona has slept in our bed every night since the day she was born. Her crib was more for aesthetic "nursery" appearance. Now she has a toddler bed and I guess I've just been kind of lazy about trying to get her in it. She sleeps better and longer in our bed. We like having her next to us.
I also still breastfeed and Winona nurses throughout the night. It has always worked well for us. Having a family bed and breastfeeding meant that I could just roll over and take care of my crying baby with little effort or sleep loss. Until recently. I'm just on the end of my quickly fraying rope of sanity with night time feeding. I praise all the mommies who can keep going. However, for me I have made this decision as a way of taking care of myself.
I can't be the best Mama when I am frustrated and exhausted.
I have to keep reminding myself of this as the guilt starts to creep into my mind. The guilt that I am not giving all that I can give. There is the feeling that as a Mother it is my duty to squeeze every last drop of giving I have in me, like a lemon. And then once all the lemon juice is squeezed I should probably zest the hell out of it!! I don't want to be a juice less, zest less lemon. I need to be somewhat intact.
There is another big reason that helped push me to this decision. A big ugly reason. Baby Tooth Decay. GASP!!! Yikes. I don't want my sweet girl to get yucky rotten teeth. Not to mention that baby tooth decay affects adult teeth as well.
We are loosely following a schedule of night time weaning that looks a little like this. For three nights (we chose to do six), when she woke up, I nurse her for a little bit and then remove her from the breast and then cuddle/hug and reassure her that everything is okay. She has to fall asleep without nursing. She is pissed!! Tonight starts the hard part. No breast. Just hugs and reassurance. I'm scared.
I have felt like giving up many times and I know Jake has as well, but I know we are making the right decision for our family. I also know that all this hard work will pay off. I'll try to update on how this journey is going.
Have you had similar experiences to this or tough mountains to climb to get to the top?
6 comments:
We never co-slept. Lily slept in our room until she was about 6 months old and we put Jacob in his crib before he was 6 weeks old. I would just go into their room to nurse during the night. Just this past week, I've been trying to wean Jacob at night. He cries for a few minutes and then goes back to sleep. He slept all night last night. My only advice is to not give up once you get started. I know it is MUCH easier to just nurse her in the middle of the night when you are tired too, but then she knows if she just waits long enough, you'll give in. That makes is soooo much harder. If it helps (it did me) our pediatrician has discouraged night feedings. He's eating enough that he shouldn't be hungry in the middle of the night and he's just waking up out of habit. It's not good to keep getting up with him to nurse because it encourages poor sleeping habits.
On a side note, way to go with still breastfeeding so long. I know how hard it is and I also know that people start acting like you're weird after your baby turns 6 months old or something, especially after 1 year. We lasted 15 months and I think Winnie is a little older than Jacob. I wish more families would try it and stick with it.
Thank you for the encouraging words Jennifer! I am definitely committed to the plan even if I dont sleep for the next 3 nights. Winona is 16 moaths old..not too much older than Jacob.
Bethy, you are doing an incredible job with breastfeeding & I think that whatever you need to do in order to keep your sanity & get the rest you need is the right thing to do! We all have different issues & circumstances & we all make the decisions we have to based on what we have going on in our individual lives. I commend you for continuing to breastfeed as that's the right choice for your family @ this time! I also think its amazing that you have a plan for the night training. In my opinion, its always best to have some sort of plan before undertaking a major change & I agree with Jennifer that its also best to keep going when you start something new like this bc Winnie is old enough to catch on & it might become a new trick for her;). I also agree with Jennifer's pediatrician who said that night feeding aren't necessary. Once babes get to a certain weight, their daytime feeds are usually meetings their nutritional needs, except during growth spurts:). You are doing great, mama! I am a firm believer in doing whatever YOU need to do in order to be the best for your child, your husband & most importantly, yourself. We can't give what we want to the important people in our lives unless we take care of ourselves first! I hope I've learned from my mistakes in that area. Love to you all!
What sweet words! Your right Erin. Us Mamas gotta take care of ourselves. Thank you!!! =)
I'm going to chime in again with another "GREAT JOB BREASTFEEDING." I made to it right at 13 months with both kids before it was time for ME to stop.
Good Luck tonight!
Well Beth good luck. Vivi is about to be six and still comes and gets in the bed with us about 5 out of 7 nights. Its my fault I am a sucker and have given in for the last two and a half years. If you do not break it now it WILL NEVER STOP! Ha ha. I mean I worry she is going to be the only freshman in college who still sleeps in the bed with her parents. It is all my fault because she turns on the crocodile tears and I give in, and that frustrates Jamie I know. Break it now. We have agreed to do the same and drag ourselves up the stairs no matter how hard it is and put her little fanny back in bed, during the school year its not as hard. Just persevere. Love you.
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